Carnival

Carnival

Bored and looking for something to do, my friend and I went to a carnival. Ignore the dude in the middle, he wasn't there. This is just the best picture of Petr that I have that describes his demeanor, goofy. Matejska poud (Matthews Carnival, translated), the carnival is called, and it is one of the things that happens in the spring over here. Normally, spring is starting to happen around here at that time (early March). However, this year winter seems to be hanging on to the bitter (cold) end. By early March things start to turn around here (normally). The sun starts to come out, the temperature average rises above zero and one can start to see smiles on the faces of the people around. Not this year. Ma Natures ‘bitch ass’ as of the end of March, had not let winter go. Bitch. Gimme some damn sun.

Matejska Poud is held on some kind of ‘has been’ complex that now serves as a fairgrounds-for lack of a better word. There are some old buildings and foundations (complete with the tile finished ground floors) where old buildings once were. It is kind of like a bomb went off in the area and it was never rebuilt. Who knows, maybe one did. I’d guess that the complex was about seventy or so years old. The existing structures have some mildly interesting architecture but really are nothing special. The rest of the complex is basically a shithole. Aside from the existing structures and the newly remodeled ‘T-Mobile’ arena, which is used for shows and sporting events, everything is crumbling. Shithole. Perfect setting for a carnival.

Aside from the existing structures and the newly remodeled ‘T-Mobile’ arena, which is used for shows and sporting events, everything is crumbling. Shithole. Perfect setting for a carnival. If this is anything like an American carnival, a shithole really is the only place for such an event.

The day is a perfect Prague late winter/early spring day. Grey and cold. The grey here is like nothing I have ever seen. The light here is so flat, it seems to take the life out of everything. So, with our mood in line with the day, grey, we pay the 10 crowns and give our ticket to the two guys standing around the gate smoking cigarettes and walk into the Czech equivalent of crackhead heaven thinking those guys had the job of a lifetime.

Cigarettes. Everyone smokes here. I think it is a national pastime. Big tobacco has no worries about losing smokers in the states as it has Europe in a choke hold! Smoking, everywhere. The city was kind enough to outlaw it in certain public places like mass transit stops, but much more is needed. Cafés, for example, are many times the smokiest places in the city-second to bars, of course. Restaurants follow with a close third. Wait a minute, café and restaurant, aren’t they the same thing, you might ask? Not really. Cafés being a cross between nice bar, bistro restaurant and coffee house, are really the best of all worlds and therefore attract a good deal of business. I like these places. The only thing that sucks is that they can be pretty smoky and well, that shit fucks up a meal.

I was at the gym and saw one of the health trainers outside taking a ‘break’ and smoking a cigarette. What the hell is that? “Wow! That sure was a tough session! I need a cigarette!” The words of a winner! Will you share with me your secrets of good health please? That one is right up there with another thing I see in the gym here.

The lobby and the showers of the gym are on the entry level of the building with the workout room and various other activity rooms on the basement level. To get to the lower level, there is one flight of stairs, and an elevator. Elevator. That’s nice. Now the ‘physically challenged’ (gimps) have access. The funny thing is, I have yet to see anyone who is ‘physically challenged’ working out in the gym. I am the biggest gimp in the joint. The elevator, however, gets plenty of action. It is strange to me to see people come to a gym to get a workout, to improve their health, and instead of taking a rather short flight of steps up or down, they take the elevator.

Anyway, back to the carnival. We walk into the complex to find the place is deserted. There are of course, the carnies, which, as a matter of fact, look like relatively normal people! What a shocker. The first part of the carnival is the young children’s section. Nothing here. We proceed on to the main part of the event, which is kept separate from the children’s section. As we walk by the various test your luck/skill booths, carnies are asking us in the usual Czech way if we would like to test our luck/skill. ‘Asking us in the usual Czech way’ entails acting particularly unexcited about anything, especially your job, yet trying to promote it despite the fact that you: 1) in no way support it; 2) know that you will, in no way benefit from it. (after all, that is the problem of your employer); and 3) could not care less whether you or anyone around you lived or died. Howevermuch this method is actually on the way out, as capitalism is slowly showing the benefit of good service, this method of service still holds on in places.

So walking around this nearly deserted 'poud' a few things catch my eye. The first is the decoration of the rides. Following in the redneck tradition of carnivals in America, everything is airbrushed. The airbrushing is funny. First of all, the names of all the rides English names. The scenes airbrushed on the rides depicts the theme of the ride, well, sometimes. Most of the time, the scene is just some sleazy chick, dressed in next to nothing, in some sexually suggestive position beckoning you to get on the ride. Some of the chicks are also topless. This would never fly in America. I personally don't care about the topless bit, I mean come on, we all fed from a breast for about the first year of our lives, now we can't see them any more? Bullshit. American sensorship is nothing short of riddiculous. That is another story, however.

One of the rides named 'Colorado' was particularly funny to us. 'Colorado' was airbrushed with all sorts of images of things you can do and see in Colorado. There were two images of things that amazingly enough, I had not done in the 14 years of living there. The things were: seeing Mount Rushmore, and the space shuttle. What was wrong with me?

Another thing we saw was something I have seen at other 'poud'. People that look like American Indians, dressed like American Indians, and playing music that is supposed sound like American Indian music. I can't begin to explain how stupid this is to me. The only thing I am going to write about this is this: Why is this kind of thing in existance here? Why not do some kind of old world Czech theme? If ever there was something that did not fit, to me this is it. Maybe it is the Czech way of saying to the American Indian: "We understand, and we feel your pain. Sorry about your luck, you didn't get anything better than useless land and raging alcoholism back from those who occupy your land. At least after having our land taken from us multiple times, we got it all back." Yeah. Maybe.

After seeing these things and becoming more depressed, we decided to break out of that place and go to a čajovná (Tea house) and hang out. Better atmosphere, for sure.